i need a cigarette.. i don't know whether its cos i've been pretty down lately, or issit just a cycle that my body goes thru - needing more nicotine than 1 stick can offer every few weeks or so. just when i thought i was doing fine just a few days ago, and was actually contemplating if i should move on to completely not smoking when all of a sudden its back with a vengeance. *sigh*

i'm actually feeling my will power to continue this struggle fading.. i'm just so sick of fighting it that sometimes i just find myself thinking "whatever, i just don't wanna feel this way anymore.."

hmmmmm.. reading back what i just wrote, i can't help but to wonder what exactly am i trying to get at? issit just as simple as a statement refering to my trying not to smoke or is there something that my subconscious mind's trying to tell me..?

fuck. i'm getting weird.