Some handy tips for you guys, hehe:

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself
2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape
8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

i like this quote:

"SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS"

* dunno what a slinky is? (DOH!) sigh, click here then..

do do do do do do do do (twilight zone theme)

i had this really weird dream the other night: it was like 3 something in the morning when i saw something outside my window (apparently i was having trouble sleeping ok?):



wtf..?! a flying saucer wei! its flying around looking into my neighbour's windows. almost immediately it spotted me, and then it brought out its laser gun and shot at me..



i dont remember what happened next, but it had something to do with running all over the place dodging the lasers, and after awhile it gave up and just flew off.

okay, this part i do remember: after that some ppl came around and asked me what happened. the conversation went like this:

man : what happened?
me : there was an alien attacking us
man : ah lian attacking? why la?
me : o_O" alien la, ALIEN. from outer space?
man: oh.. (looking at nice neat round holes the lasers made in the walls)

dunno what happened after that, cos after that i woke up, and almost immediately i went "wtf was that all about?"

which kinda made me wonder if that meant anything - which in other words made me wonder if those chinese "hidden meaning of dreams" books could help me decipher it. okay, i got that idea fm blogger chessie's post the other day.

if anyone knows what it could mean, tell me tell me! hehe

Potty Wars

guess u can't go very wrong if u were to follow an already proven formula:

ahh finally........ bliss


can't believe the next one's the last one.

Also, i'm currently up to 67.8 % on grey's final episode - wonder how's that gonna end.

"AN AN AN.. tottemo daisuki.. DORAE-MON!"



isn't doraemon just the greatest japanese anime ever..? hehe.. i don't think i'll ever get bored of watching that show, even though every episode is pretty much the same: nobita has some problem, doraemon gives him some super gadget, nobita gets into even more trouble then before.

simple story & plot everytime, hehe..

however, i've always wondered that who in the world could get used to a robot cat walking around? (and a TALKING BLUE one to boot!) . doesn't anyone question where it came from and how come it has so many fancy gadgets in its pouch?

well, if u haven't heard of doraemon pls leave this page now as i do not welcome freaks. hehe, just kidding - follow this link to get urself enlightened :D

i just saw this ad in the papers and felt that there was just something wrong with the pic: the position of her hands, his expression...


hmmmmmmmm...........

then i decided to go check out their site and i found this:



shit, isit just me or is gulf air fkin' with us..?

(okay, its a slow saturday morning ok? i'm bored.. hehe)

whoz jor daddy..!?



i nearly shat myself when beard papa opened their 1st outlet in midvalley some time back. its so freakin' delish yo! (although it is kinda expensive at $3.30 a pop *ack*).

if u havent tried it, get ur ass down to midvalley right now cos they're having this mother's day promo, with a limited run of their green tea flavoured puffs (which is yummy!) til the 20th of may.. i'm so kiasu, i actually tapau-ed a few days supply the other day. hehe. for those of u who know me should know that i do not have a sweet tooth, and by making an exception for this is really saying something right? (no as much as i wish i did have share in it, i don't ok? :P)

anyway, did anyone notice something peculiar on the front page of today's star newspaper?


do u see it? do u see it?



why is there is pentagram in the teacher idol logo?! (for the benefit of my clueless readers, the pentagram is a well known satanic logo - do a search on it if that's ur thang, thats what google's for..)

is there something about them teachers that we should know about?!

"i ran over a spoon because the voices told me to"

hehe, this is funny. try it:

Pick the month you were born on:

January--i danced with
Febuary--i loved
March--i choked on
April--i licked
May-- i kicked
June--i kissed
July--i sang to
August--i had lunch with
September--i ran over
October--i smoked
November--i yelled at
December--i murdered

Pick the day (number) you were born on:

1-------a paperclip
2-------a stuffed animal
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a gangster
6-------a mexican
7-------a llama
8-------a banana
9-------myself
10-------you
11-------an ipod
12-------my dog
13-------chuck norris
14-------a monster
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19-------my neighbour
20-------a football player
21-------a permanent marker
22-------my boyfriend tounge
23-------a noodle
24-------my girlfriend
25-------a baseball bat
26-------my sister
27-------a thornbush
28-------my boyfriend
29-------my science teacher
30-------my cell phone
31-------A homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are
wearing:

White------Because im sexy
Black-------Because im a ninja.
Pink--------Because im homosexual.
Red---------Because i love her.
Blue--------Because the voices told me
to
Green------Because I hate myself.
Purple------because im an ass
Gray--------Because im drunk as hell
Yellow------Because someone offered me
1,000,000 dollars
Orange----Because i hate my family.
Other-------Because that's how I roll.

what did u come up with?

I have a problem with authority.

I have a problem with people who think that they have the authority to decide what I can see, say and read.

If there’s someone regulating my flow of information, i want to know on what basis they they decide what i should and should not see? and who regulates the regulators? hmmm..?

okay lets think about this for a minute, and take the internet as an example: I’m sure if u managed to get to this site, you’d realize by now that the internet, unlike other forms of media, is a passive medium which means that you have to actively search for something (as opposed to active mediums such as television or radio, which just plays the content, whether u like it or not). why then, can't we all just practice self-censorship instead of having a bunch of stuffy old men decide for us? (okay maybe thats just how i picture them to be, hehe)

So what I’m trying to say is that if you know very well that you find hardcore pornography offensive, then what the fuck are u doing going to http://www.hardcore-sex.com?! Same goes for other “offensive” stuff such as hate-speech, political commentaries or whatever. if u don't like it, don't view it!

I have to admit that there are certain other factors that we have to look at, most important of all would be the children, and how they could unknowingly stumble onto some of the stuff which are inappropriate.

However, the bigger question I’ll pose to you is what is a child doing surfing the internet unsupervised in the first place? If your argument is that parents cannot keep an eye on their children 24/7 (which I think is a lame excuse), then by all means please use parental control software. There’s a probably like a billion of it available freely on the internet.

By the big question marks above your head, I think u guys must be wondering whats up with this post. Well for one thing there’s just been too much talk lately about regulating free speech on the internet – be it socio-political commentaries on blogs, or even satirical videos on a certain country’s monarch. Why do u have to censor it when you could just NOT READ IT?

It all boils down to one thing: if u think something’s offensive, just turn it off.

Anyway, just some random babbling on my part. Pls ignore if u don’t agree with it ok? Remember the keyword: self-censorship. hehe

bitter sweet spanish affair



kimi blew out.

massa blew alonso off to finish on top.

rookie hamilton blew expectations by leading the drivers standings in his fourth f1 race!

lotsa blowing action happening at the circuit de catalunya in barcelona yesterday, and thats just what we saw on tv! hehe..

this is gonna be an amazing season. only problem is that i havent quite decided who i'm rooting for this year.

kimi was an obvious choice for me this year since he's schumey's replacement and all, but there's just something about his robotic lack of normal human personality that kinda turns me off.

alonso's a definite no no - too much history, with his schumey rivalry and showboating in the 06/07 season.

hamilton's a possibility, but i cant support him without indirectly cheering alonso on.

i guess that kinda just leaves massa for the time being, unless i wanna relegate myself down to the 2nd tier teams.

oh oh, did anyone notice what an excellent job the BMW team is doing this season? keep it up and i'm sure they too will be gunning for race wins soon.

oh yeah, and look who decided to drop by:


schumey! woot woot!

currently reading:

A DIRTY JOB by CHRISTOPHER MOORE

hehe, this is damn funny..

“It so painful for me to love you – its hurts so much that it makes me cry aloud and i'm tired of this, but yet stubbornly i write good things about you day after day in my diary. its like being addicted to drugs that never fails to lie to me..”

My gosh can you feel the drama oozing out of that? Well, that’s just a line from one of Kelly Chen’s song (she’s some HK singer, in case u don’t know – a HOT one at that! :D)

or how about this one:

“I’m willing to create for you your fairy tale, to become that angel that you love so that I may spread my wings to protect you..”

WAHAHAHA.. how the fuck do they come up with this? They had to be smokin’ some serious shiet yo!

But seriously, as dramatic and far-fetched the lyrics of most Chinese songs are, most of them are actually quite nice. most people say that Chinese songs are better than english songs because they have more depth, and are more meaningful, but to me it doesn’t really make a difference cos basically I have no idea what they are singing about.. =P

okay, that isnt entirely true as if I really listen carefully and try to make out the words, i *think* i should be able to decipher the meaning, hehe. ok fine, honestly even by doing that I still have trouble getting the exact meaning – I would be able to only guess the gist of it (but then again how hard issit to tell whether a song is supposed to be a happy or sad one?) yes, I’m THAT much of a failure when it comes to Chinese. Seriously. hehe..

so whats the reason for this post then, you ask? Well, I seem keep getting hooked on sad soppy Chinese songs alot these days. And as if that’s not bad enough, I tend to get hooked and old, outdated, sad & soppy Chinese love songs. yes, seriously.

Here’s the latest old, sad & soppy Chinese song that I’m hooked on to (with killer lyrics as well, hehe). Check this out:

“its so embarrassing when u still want me to smile and admit that I do not want to break up with you. I’m just not able to tolerate and accept seeing the both of you together, so please don’t worry about me – I’ll get on with my life”

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA.. don’t u just love them Chinese songs?

disclaimer: verses have been translated and probably reinterpreted under calvin's brand of chinese, which i believe there's a high possibility of being as accurate in meaning as if you were to get a russian peasant to give u a lecture on quantum physics.. in japanese. (u get the picture, hehe)

skulduggery pleasant!

does that name ring a bell? well, if it doesn't it probably would in time (but dont ask me when.. hehe).

here it goes: skulduggery pleasant is a name of a character in this new kids book aptly titled skulduggery pleasant (duh). i found it yesterday in mph midvalley when i was browsing thru the hot titles section. it had this cool cartoon skeleton on it, and more importantly they were offering a 20% for mph reader circle cardholders, hehe

anyway to cut the story short, its basically a kids' book (with the big-ass fonts and all) with a pretty simple but yet appealing storyline - u take a regular 12 yr old kid and throw her into a magical world of wizards, hollow men, vampires and even talking skeletons (who happens to be one of the good guys).

hmm.. young kid pushed into a fantasy magic world, why does that sound so familiar u ask? well, cos its like harry pothead .. erm, potter! well, with the potter series coming to an end this july, i guess its only normal that others would want to cash in on the void left behind.

anyhoo, i tried describing the storyline to a fren earlier and it just came out sounding all wrong, so for your benefit my dear readers, i'll just reproduce the sypnosis on the website here:

Meet Skulduggery Pleasant

Meet Skulduggery Pleasant. Sure, he may lose his head now and again (in fact, he won his current skull in a poker match), but he is much more than he appears to be—which is good, considering that he is, basically, a skeleton. Skulduggery may be long dead, but he is also a mage who dodged the grave so that he could save the world from an ancient evil. But to defeat it, he'll need the help of a new partner: a not so innocent twelve-year-old girl named Stephanie. That's right, they're the heroes.

Stephanie and Skulduggery are quickly caught up in a battle to stop evil forces from acquiring her recently deceased uncle's most prized possession—the Sceptre of the Ancients. The Ancients were the good guys, an extinct race of uber-magicians from the early days of the earth, and the scepter is their most dangerous weapon, one capable of killing anyone and destroying anything. Back in the day, they used it to banish the bad guys, the evil Faceless Ones. Unfortunately, in the way of bad guys everywhere, the Faceless Ones are staging a comeback and no one besides our two heroes believes in the Faceless Ones, or even that the Sceptre is real.

So Stephanie and Skulduggery set off to find the Sceptre, fend off the minions of the bad guys, beat down vampires and the undead, prove the existence of the Ancients and the Faceless Ones, all while trading snappy, snippy banter worthy of the best screwball comedies.

or alternatively u could check the site out urself here

dude, i'm like just so sure this is gonna be the next big thing! so remember, u saw it here 1st! :D

addison's anatomy

just watched the latest 2 episodes of grey's anatomy (ep22 & 23), and i think them network execs' attempt to milk this franchise is alil pathetic, really.

i mean i do like addison and all, but pushing a spin-off trailer down our throats in the last few (much eagerly anticipated, might i add) episodes is just down right sad.

i mean i do see potential in the spin-off, and i have to admit that it would be an interesting fix for my greys-withdrawal during the off-season (that is, IF they are even considering a 4th season), but somehow i got a feeling of deja-vu watching it.. its like instead of a bunch of weirdo lawyers going about doing their thang, i'm watching a bunch of weirdo doctors doing their thang. does this sound a tad bit familiar?

so mr network exec, i've got a title suggestion for you. how's addison mcbeal sound to u? hehe, which is actually rather ironic if u consider grey's obsession with everything "mac" (if u dont get it, nevermind..)

anyhoo, if u havent caught it here's a preview of addison's potential love interest in her new spin-off: